Clothes Maketh the Man, but Shoes Maketh the Woman!

Ah, Shoe Embassy!

Last week we had the joy of having our grandchildren for a half term sleepover. Whilst we don’t really need an excuse for such an event, the reason was that we’d promised our granddaughter a new pair of boots as a belated birthday present. I don’t know who was more excited, me or her. You see, I love shoes. I hazard that I am not alone in this amongst women. Men, not so much - my husband argues that you can only wear one pair at a time, so why would you need any more than that. Meh!

If as Mark Twain said, clothes ‘maketh the man’, then shoes definitely maketh the woman!

All the t-bars! (I'm strangling the cat!)

I feel as if my love of shoes has been with me all my life - I clearly remember lying about a pair of t-bar sandals when I was 10 years old. They were too small, excruciatingly painful to wear but unbelievably beautiful, so I convinced my mum that they were a perfect fit and suffered all summer. But my, were they beautiful!

As I progressed through my teenage years I would save my meagre wages from Saturday jobs to satisfy my need for the latest style and fashion - platforms, slingbacks, Dunlop green flash plimsolls, hippy dippy leather sandals! Never stilettos though - my centre of gravity didn’t suit them!

Comfy boots!

Probably because of my experience as that 10 year old, limping through a family holiday in Kent, I eschew uncomfortable shoes. Not for me having my little toe amputated so I can fit into the latest Manolo Blahniks. I’m more a Doc Marten, Clarks Originals or desert boot type of woman. I appreciate that many of my friends regard my shoes as ugly, but I love them for their stylish quirkiness!

Another pair of t-bars - on my beautiful daughter!

Footwear is perfect - it always fits, regardless of weight fluctuation, can lift an outfit to another level, and make you feel confident when you’re at your most unsure. My daughter and I bond over shoes on a regular basis, sharing links to our latest internet finds. We both own far too many pairs and yet still resort to our favourites, time and time again.

Nanny, I love them...

It was two years ago that we first took our granddaughter to buy footwear - again as a birthday gift. We had her measured in a specialist shop and asked them to bring out any shoes in her size. She tried on a few pairs, reluctantly looking in the mirror each time. Then she tried on the silver pair with the pink flower…When she finally stopped skipping around the shop she whispered in my ear, ‘Nanny, I love them!’ Sold. She knew exactly which ones she wanted, and was so happy. They were impractical, but completely beautiful and, unlike my t-bar sandals, fitted her perfect little feet too.

Two years on, she has even clearer ideas about what she likes. She always chooses her own outfits to wear, and prefers twirly dresses to jeans, and sparkly tights to leggings. In the first shop we went to, the long suffering assistant brought her many boots, none of which passed muster. Too ‘purply’ in one case! We drove 40 miles to the next nearest specialist shop where we repeated the process. She half liked one pair, then tried on THE pair. 

THE pair!

We were again treated to a dancing, twirling child. Not only did she love them, she professed the desire to sleep in them! I have also wanted to sleep with shoes in the past, so I didn’t find this at all odd!

So in this confusing, troubling world, be grateful if you are lucky enough to own, appreciate and enjoy shoes - they bring so much happiness to both big people and little people - mine say more about me than anything else I own. Apart from, of course, handbags…

Oh the joy!

Cheap Thrill #14: A Walk on the Wild Side

Every year, during the months of November to February and about 15 miles north of where we live, Grey Seals use the beach to breed. It has became one of nature’s spectacles, drawing visitors in their hundreds, if not thousands. And that, dear reader, is probably why I’ve never been before…the only times available to me were weekends or the Christmas holidays. Not only did I jealously guard these free times, I also knew that everyone else went to see the seals then and, whilst I can just about bear queueing for a theme park ride, queueing to view a natural event seems a shade perverse. 

Glorious Norfolk skies - the best in the World!

However, lest it escaped your notice, I am now retired! So, having checked the weather forecast, this morning we ventured forth. Bear in mind that not only is this the tail end of the breeding season, but also the Norfolk coast has recently suffered a combination of a tidal surge and high winds, so we were not all that hopeful of seeing anything of note. Undeterred, we paid and displayed and set off to the first ‘Seal Viewpoint’, or more accurately ‘Sand and Sea Viewpoint’. Nothing, nada, zilch, not a hint of a fur coat, and the warden told us that many seals had disappeared during the tidal surge. 

Still, the sun was shining, the Norfolk sky was incredible and we were already togged up for the winter, so we decided to continue to the next viewing point, some 25 minutes further along the path. When we climbed to the top of the steps to reach the summit of the dunes, I saw a couple of lumps on the sand, which we eventually established were grey seals. However, so still were they that I convinced myself that they were dead, until hubby spotted the flick of a flipper. Even so, not exactly mind blowing.

Those rocks are moving!

We walked a bit further and realised that the ‘rocks’ behind the actual rocks were a heaving mass of grey seals, rolling around, hauling themselves in and out of the water and generally chilling in the sun! How exciting! The warden at the official viewing point was talking to another visitor and, as we approached, she indicated that we should be quiet and turn to look behind us. 

Sooo cute!

And there, in the grass, no more than 10 feet away was a baby seal. This evoked in me the sort of noises that I usual reserve for news items about baby pandas and marmosets. Not exactly David Attenborough’s style, but it was completely involuntary! The warden explained that this weaned pup had been up on the dunes since the weekend, and would only move once its hunger had reached the point of needing to go and fish. Interestingly, seal’s aren’t taught by their mothers to fish. Once they  are weaned, they are left to starve until their instinct to feed takes over. 

Waiting for the hunger to kick in...

As we stood taking photos and chatting, we noticed that the pup had started to move and we watched as he struggled to make his way across the dunes towards the beach and the sea. 

Nature at my fingertips!

We were so close, I just couldn't believe it. He even stopped to read all about himself on the noticeboard, which the warden and I found hilarious!

It says here that I'm a grey seal

As we walked back to the car, I was left reflecting how amazing nature is - those seals mate five weeks after they have given birth (I know!!!), but the fertilised eggs are not released into the womb until 12 weeks later, so the pregnancy of nine months coincides with their winter break on the Norfolk coast! Incredible. 

So today, I have enjoyed a lovely walk in the fresh air and sunshine, I have learned an awful lot more about grey seals than I knew before and I have had sufficient ‘sooo cute’ moments to last me at least until the lambs start leaping around the fields. Joy, pure joy!

If you're going to be a Loser...

Many years ago, when I separated from from my first husband, I decided to do two things (well three, if you count limiting myself to crying into my pillow so the children didn't see me upset) and they were to start watching Norwich City again and to play tennis.

My Mum's old racquet - genuine vintage!

I have always loved tennis - both watching it and playing it. It’s in my blood - my parents used to play when they were courting, and I used my Mum’s racquet when I first started playing. It was kept in a racquet press which bore the legend, handwritten in pencil, ‘14th June 1937, Love from Arthur x’ Probably one of the first presents my Dad ever bought for my Mum.

14th June 1937, Love from Arthur x

I would spend hours hitting a ball against the back wall, driving my family mad with the repetitive thud and, when I went to High School I discovered a modicum of talent for the game. I was completely enamoured of the whole thing especially the silly white dresses. 

I was eleven years old, and also an avid Bunty reader, and loved the cut out dolls on the last page. Imagine my delight when ‘Bunty plays tennis’ appeared. I persuaded my Mum to make me one of the outfits - a natty shorts / dress combo that must have been really tricky to manufacture. I loved it, but there was one major drawback. Clearly Bunty never actually played tennis, because the minute I extended my body to serve, the shorts gave me an excruciating wedgie - not conducive to concentrating on the game! 

The World's most impractical tennis outfit!

I never could bring myself to tell my lovely Mum all those years ago, and just wore my PE kit to play in from then on. My claim to fame was that I was House Tennis Captain when my house shared the House Tennis Cup, and I can honestly still remember the shot I played that won the crucial match - even our PE teacher applauded!

Fast forward thirty years and on my own with two children, I decided it was time to get out there again. My local council was advertising a ‘ladies tennis group’ at the clifftop courts so I went along. The first week I didn't even get out of the car, I felt that anxious, but my love of tennis helped me overcome my fears and the second week I joined in. When the funding ended for the clifftop group, we moved to the local tennis club, where about eight of us continued to play regularly on Monday evenings and Thursday mornings. As my job became ever more demanding I got further and further out of the loop until…I retired! The very day after I finished work I rejoined the club and now play twice, sometimes three times week. 

Treated myself to more modern equipment!

There now four or five of us who play, all of a certain age and of varying strengths and abilities - one of us is brilliant at drop shots, one at lobbing opponents, one at running down every shot thrown at her and my return of serve is pretty good. We are all united by one thing, however - inconsistency! For every exquisite passing shot, at least ten are wide, for every searing overhead smash, I should think ninety percent find the wrong side of the net and for every perfect lob, the woman who never gives up will find a way to get them back running around the court like a demented terrier. 

We are undisputed queens of the unforced error! That being said, we have so much fun and are so hardy that we turn up unabashed each week, even if the courts are frozen or there’s a gale force wind, knowing that at least we will have something to blame for our poor performance - we do, however, eschew the little white dresses in favour of thermals these days! The other thing that unites us is our ridiculous British politeness. Whilst we might be rejoicing inside for the stunning drop shot we’ve just played, we always apologise for making the opposition run in vain! No fist pumping or high fives for us, just a discrete grin to our partner.

I know tennis isn't everyone’s idea of fun, but for me it is completely joyful - I don't even need to reward myself with a hot chocolate when I get home - a hot shower is all I need! And if you’re going to be a loser, you may as well do it in good company and the fresh air!

Enjoy being a stirrer! Cheap Thrill: #12

Life, as Christmas draws nearer, gets more and more frenetic, even if you haven't got to plan the Christmas play and manage children who struggle to cope with the necessary changes to routine that go hand in hand with the festivities - why would they want to go to school in a Christmas jumper when everyone knows that you go to school in your uniform? 

Despite being retired, I still find myself writing this in the middle of the night:

1. because I can't sleep
2. because my husband is snoring and
3. because in the morning I have to bake sausage rolls and banana muffins for a girly gathering tomorrow evening!

So, my latest cheap thrill involves taking time to relish and enjoy nourishing my family, whilst sneaking a few cheeky minutes to myself. Yes, I give you…risotto! 

Roast squash, sage, chestnut and pancetta risotto (thank you Jamie Oliver!)

I love risotto. It is so comforting to eat and can be made from the simplest of ingredients, which I usually have in my store cupboard. Now I have to admit to oven baking risottos on occasion, but for maximum creaminess, nothing beats the traditional method of slowly adding hot stock to rice and stirring gently until it is absorbed.

Watching the magic happen

For me it is a labour of love which cannot be rushed and is truly mesmerising and cathartic. I turn on the radio, stand at the stove and stir. My mind wanders as the rice releases its starch and I unpick my troubles or worries and they seem to evaporate with the steam. (A glass of wine to hand is also mesmerising and cathartic, but maybe thats another cheap thrill!) 

I am fascinated by the way the texture of the rice changes as the starch seeps from it, and it is up there with bread making in ticking my ‘earth mother’ boxes. All in all, it takes about twenty minutes to make, but in those twenty minutes I have to stay by the stove and pay it close and loving attention - no multi-tasking, no trying to fit in checking my bank balance or ordering another Christmas present - just carefully stirring the pan, waiting for the magic to happen. Bliss. And I am not alone - we visited my daughter last week who made us a delicious meal. ‘I love making risotto, Mum, it’s so therapeutic.’ Great minds!

Lovely lemon and prawn risotto

So next time you’re stressed and wonder where you're going to find a minute to yourself, try making a risotto. Not only do you sneak some time, you also get to provide a delicious meal for your family or friends! Joy, pure joy!

For One Month Only...Cheap Thrill #7

Oh how I love September days like this one

So this week’s cheap thrill is…September.  For years my love of this month has been overshadowed by back to school malaise, and the fact that the weather is usually nicer than it has been for the whole of the summer holidays, and I’m stuck inside!

But not this year. This year I can glory in beautiful September days, the subtle change in light, the air of Christmas excitement just around the corner (I can ignore the inherent stress that this brings for now) and just a clear sense of the changing seasons.

Mmmm. Jam

It is difficult to quantify why I love this month so. It’s something to do with crunching through leaves (almost as good as lime tree seeds, it appears), ripening blackberries, which my hubby turns into amazing jam, and the slight chill in the air that means we no longer feel driven to put salads with all our meals. Salads, in our house, are affectionately known as ‘green sh*t’, and while we do enjoy them, there is something so much more comforting about mashed potatoes, bright green cabbage and gravy! 

The other joy of course is that, because it is now getting cooler, we are able to cover up our less than svelte forms with baggy brushed cotton shirts and snuggly jumpers…what’s not to love!

I'm so lucky to live opposite here

For me October means the dreaded clock change, which brings a whole world of pain, but for now I am relishing September - it’s only here for a few more days, and it really is joyous!

Cheap Thrill #2

Appreciating the simple things in life is not easy if you're in a less than happy place. That being said, on Sunday afternoon my husband dragged, cajoled, persuaded me to stop ‘sitting’ and go for a walk around the village - only to the post box, not exactly a mammoth trek!

A lime tree - apparently

Just around the corner from our house is an enormous, what I now know to be, lime tree. I’ve never paid it much attention before - it’s just a chuffing big tree. But it seems this tree produces seeds, and these seeds fall onto the ground and dry out. 

Who knew they could provide so much fun!

And when they dry, they crunch. Oh how they crunch. It was like walking on a carpet of popcorn! I can not tell you how much pleasure this gave me…it was so much fun! I joyously jumped up and down like a loon, loving every minute! And my gloriously tolerant husband didn't criticise or mock, he just grinned like an idiot, thrilled to see me caught up in the moment.

It was immediately clear to me that this needed to be Cheap Thrill #2 - obviously cheap and thrilled me to bits! So much so that I fabricated an excuse to walk to the local shop yesterday, just so that I could enjoy all over again! 

Sunday afternoon shoes!

I appreciate that, if little things please little minds, then this would indicate that I am in possession of a seriously minuscule mind, but the joy, oh the joy! 

Small moments of Joy

So, we have an appointment at the bank on Friday. I am no longer able to bury my head in the sand, and must face the fact that, come September, I will be significantly worse off financially. Bummer.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that I am very lucky to have retired relatively young, but my husband and I have had ‘the conversation’ and I appreciate that I will have to adapt my spending habits. Bummer.

All of this has set me thinking about how we reward ourselves and, when I was time poor and resource rich, my rewards were largely based on the material -  meals out, things for the house, shoes…so many shoes. I have also enjoyed treating my family and friends not only at Christmas and birthdays but at random times, just because I could. Now I will have to think a lot more carefully about it first. Bummer.

This being considered, I am going to have to appreciate things that are simpler and thriftier in nature. Bummer!

Seriously though, there must be many things we all do over the course of a week that cost nothing, and would reward us with a moment of joy if only we made the effort to notice them. So, in the interest of paying attention, now that I am time rich and resource poor, I introduce…

Cheap Thrills!

Each week I will aim to identify something that I have experienced or witnessed that has given me a moment’s joy. (Nothing salacious, I promise, and I won’t be using #cheapthrills) I will attempt to notice the things that cost me next to nothing, but please me nevertheless. Whilst this may encourage me to do more, I’m hoping that I also focus more on the things that are already happening, and take the time to savour them. My life has been so frenetic in the past several years, that I fear I may need lots of practice. Since I came up with this idea, I’ve been stumped for inspiration, so it may quickly become an annual posting!

Cheap Thrill #1

My daughter lives near Sheffield, but was home for a holiday last week. On Friday evening, we’d had a BBQ, consumed much gin, and were listening to music. As the evening wore on, we lit the lights and candles in our little garden shelter and sat talking as it got darker and darker.

We experimented with taking photographs of the flickering candles and tried to catch each other out with hideous close ups. Nothing spectacular for a Friday evening, but I was with people I loved, talking, laughing and sitting in the beautiful gazebo my husband and son built for me. Joy, pure joy!