Physical wellbeing = emotional wellbeing!

I’ve been ‘blog-shamed’. Last night my husband asked whether I had written a post in May, as he thought he’d missed one. Immediately on the defensive, I muttered something about having nothing to say, and then spent all night tossing and turning, wondering why.

So ashamed...

The truth is that a family bereavement and an ongoing knee injury resulted in the month of May being a funny old time in the Land of the Blue Rinse. Both emotional and physical pain have left me feeling disconnected, out of kilter and completely discombobulated. (Love that word - try using it in a sentence!) I fully intend to write about our family’s loss at a later date, but in truth it’s my physical incapacity that has impacted in ways that have surprised even me. I have blogged about my body being ‘Fit for Purpose’, but in the past two months this hasn't been the case. I’ve been completely incapacitated at times, needed crutches and serious painkillers and barely left the house.

Surprisingly painful to use!

Needless to say, tennis is not possible, and, although things are slowly improving, I’m still awaiting an accurate diagnosis and suitable treatment. 
The aspect of all of this that has surprised me the most is the effect this has had on my mental well-being and emotional state. Not only have I stopped doing the things I am unable to do, I haven’t done anything that I can still do. Instead of using my time reading, sewing, blogging, I have retreated into watching rubbish telly, playing Candy Crush and obsessively reading about how sh*t Donald Trump is. Not healthy, really not healthy. I have shied away from meeting up with friends, put on weight and have felt demotivated about just about everything. Not Neighbours though, still love Neighbours! 

So bad, it's good!

The point is that physical activity and mental health are inextricably linked. I love thrashing about on a tennis court, whether I win or lose. 

Oh how I miss holding you...

It’s the one form of exercise that engages me completely and I would happily play every day if I could. Digging in the garden gives me a sense of strength and youthfulness (!) and I always feel as if I really deserve the reward of a bath  and a g&t afterwards. A walk with my husband or friends relaxes and reinvigorates me. I sleep better and worry less. 

All of these things have been unavailable to me of late, and I’ve really felt it. Hence, no blogging - I couldn't see the point. Hopefully this is a relatively short-lived   episode, and I will return to a level of fitness that allows me to return to the things I love which, in turn, will lead to a more general sense of wellbeing. All being well, normal service will be resumed as soon as possible!

Stupid knackered leg!

I appreciate that, in the grand scheme of things my wellbeing is not that important to anyone except my family and friends, which is why part of me feels this post is absurd. No-one caught up in events in Manchester or London gives a flying f*ck about what I think. On the other hand, if we stop doing what we do, on even the smallest level then the terrorist haters win and, demotivated or not, I don't think we should let that happen.