It's Okay to Laugh, too...

So difficult to write

This time three weeks ago I was writing my brother-in-law’s eulogy. I still don’t know why I offered to deliver it - as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to suck them back in - but it was something I felt I wanted / needed to do for my lovely sister and her children. When I was writing it, people said to me, ‘Don’t forget the funny bits’ which seemed at odds with what I was trying to say. We were saying goodbye to someone we loved, continue to love, and there’s nothing remotely amusing about that. But the truth is Rod was funny - sometimes intentionally, sometimes not so much - and writing about his life needed to reflect that. So I included some ‘funny bits’ and people laughed. In the midst of a sad and solemn occasion, people laughed about him setting a dead tropical fish in plastic resin and pushing a brush down the chimney because it got stuck going up, covering the house in soot in the process. Later, at the ‘party’ as his youngest granddaughter called it, we continued to laugh at our memories of a man who always put his family first. The human spirit at its finest. 

How do we do that? We just carry on, going to bed, waking up, eating, drinking, laughing, regardless of how we feel inside. I remember a really surreal moment the day my dad died, standing in the fish and chip shop at lunch time. My dad had died less than twelve hours ago, and we were buying fish and chips. But, we needed to eat, and nobody felt like cooking…needs must! I remember my mum saying the exact same thing as my sister is saying - ‘I’ll be alright’ - and it’s true. In the face of bereavement, loss, tragedy, people are, in the main, alright. There’s no alternative really, other than curling up in a ball and dying yourself, but the human spirit prevails and we carry on with our lives as best we can. Yes, we are sad at times and anniversaries  and special days may be sadder than others, but we shrug them off and find that we can actually enjoy ourselves again. The trick is not to feel guilty about it.

Never feel guilty for having fun!

Events in Manchester and London over the past couple of weeks have shown people’s ability to rise above tragedy and show that life carries on - the coming together of thousands of individuals for the concert in Manchester on Sunday, the man who tried to return to pay his bill at the Borough Market restaurant he’d eaten at on Saturday night and the countless millions carrying on with their daily lives, metaphorically giving the finger to those extremists who would try to disrupt our society with fear and hatred. Humour is the best antidote - how funny that one of the heroes of Saturday night, injured trying to protect others, was given a magazine in hospital, ‘Learn  to Run’ - hilarious!

The best example of the human spirit

The human spirit - a truly marvellous phenomenon. I have written before about how it is okay to be sad(here), but we also need to remember that, whatever life presents us with, it’s also okay to laugh!

My daughter and her friends certainly know how to laugh!