What Makes Me Me?

Last week my daughter went on a photo shoot with her new job. She had to take a selection of items that ‘summed her up’ as a person, for the company website. Afterwards she commented that her layout just made her look like a hoarder. There could be something in that - she does like collecting things - but really what it showed was what a varied and interesting life she leads.

It started me wondering about what I would use to show the essence of who I am, and I found it quite a challenge. My idea of how I define myself has changed considerably since I finished work - my job was pretty much it, particularly in later years as I took on more responsibility. So, what makes me 'me' now, and what objects could I possibly use to show my character visually?

So many things!

It turns out that I also look like a hoarder! So many things are important in my life that I found limiting myself to objects that fit on my coffee table quite difficult! I had to make some tricky choices, deciding that although I love shoes, they aren’t really who I am, and neither is sewing! My life on a table! Mostly good - I am well aware how lucky I am - but some not so good. 

Fork!

The big fork represents food! I love food - eating it, savouring it, preparing it, sharing it. It fulfils all my ‘earth mother’ nurturing needs and nothing pleases me more than my family or friends sharing a meal that I have cooked, or helping my grandchildren to bake or make sandwiches. Can food be a hobby? I happen to think that it can!

Hippo!

The fork kind of links to the next object - a wooden hippo! It’s actually a carving that my sister brought me back from Kenya, but in this instance it represents my constant struggle with my body image. Despite last year’s infamous boudoir shoot I continue to dislike how I look, constantly comparing myself with others and always feeling that I need to lose weight. The fact that I truly believe that none of the people who are important to me give two hoots about how I look doesn’t seem to help in any way. Oh well…moving on!

Tennis!

Tennis! I love tennis, have always loved tennis and would play every day if I could. The injury that prevented me from playing for a year was the cause of great distress, but I’m back playing a couple of times a week now, and am slowly regaining some fitness. Amazingly, it isn’t just in a physical sense that I'm lacking but in mental alertness too. I found it really hard to concentrate at first, but things are thankfully improving.

The beautiful game!

And then there’s football. Not always the beautiful game if you’re a Norwich City fan, but still a part of me - I’m already planning what flavour Kettle Chips I need to get in before the World Cup begins!

Art...

The fridge magnets from various galleries represent my love of art. I’ve written before about how important it is to me and how it can teach me things without me even realising that I’m learning them. It troubles me how little importance it seems to carry in today’s world.

That's me, that is!

Music! This is a cheat pic, because I forgot to include the cd in my original. Nevertheless I was brought up in a home that valued music, I have enjoyed singing over the years, both in a band and in choirs, and think live music is incredible. It is also a measure of how I am feeling - if I turn on the radio or stream random playlists on Spotify, it usually means that, emotionally, I am in a good place. If I’m sitting in silence, not so much. (Please note, I am streaming a random playlist as I type!)

Don't worry, be happy!

Not surprisingly the worry people personify my anxieties, which can be many and various. It’s no secret that I was born worrying, and it continues to affect the things that I do, or, more accurately, the things that I don’t do. But hey, I’m streaming music, so…

Notebook and pencil...

The other thing that has helped me exorcise my anxiety inducing demons has been writing - whether it’s blog posts, micro-fiction or poetry. That I have become so hooked on writing poetry is amazing to me, even though my hubby tells me that my poems are horrible, because they tend to be quite dark in content!

Catty ornament

I haven’t written any poems about cats, but they are a big part of my life. We always had cats when I was small, and, as an adult, they have been my pet of choice. I love dogs, but could never swing a poo bag with any style.

All the books!

My library card is representative of reading. Since rejoining the library last year, my choice of reading is far wider, and I take a chance on books that I probably wouldn't buy. I actually panic if I don't have a book waiting to be read.

Sam!

So getting to the heart of my random mixture of artefacts, we get to the people bit. The photo of Sam could just represent how important autism has been in my life, but it is also reminder of how Sam is Sam first, and a teenager with autism second. I can truthfully say that he is now my friend and not my pupil, and I love spending time with him.

Friends!

Friends are hard to come by, and need to be treasured. For many years my friends were also my colleagues, but the A Team have stuck around!

How small were their feet?

Oh, those shoes! How little were they? My children’s first shoes. I can’t bring myself to part with them, however much I declutter! From them taking their first steps through to their (more or less) independence from me, they really are a demonstration of who I am. And I am proud of them both.

The centre of it all

And at the heart of it all, family. I remember this photo being taken, and my Dad running to pose after pressing the time delay on his camera. My family has changed, grown and evolved. It includes step children, grandchildren and a wonderful husband. It is who I am.

So, there we have it, my life on a table! What would you choose to say something about you? It's not as easy as you might think!